Sunday, August 10, 2008

Reasons a guy disappears on you

Everything was going so perfectly: the guy you like asks you out; you go on a fantastic date; he asks you out two or three more times; he seems to be really into you; you take things a little further. The next day, he’s gone. Without so much as an excuse or an explanation. How upsetting is that?

Before you tear your hair out figuring out what went wrong (and blaming yourself for that matter), realize that this might actually be the best way to go. Remember the adage “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” The article "Why men go poof" cites one of the reasons a man disappears on you: he probably just wants to spare your feelings by not telling you what’s really on his mind—which could be along the lines of “You’re a great woman but there is no chemistry between us,” “I’m looking for casual dating and it seems you want more,” or “I just wanted a booty call.” You wouldn’t want it if he ever told you that to your face, right? He’s also probably just avoiding the drama that would ensue if he ever does.

A male-point-of-view article on MarieClaire.com cited six other reasons why a guy would inexplicably stop seeing and communicating with you. Learn from these and move on. You’re probably better off without him anyway.

1. He’s chasing someone else. Men love the chase. Some even enjoy just the chase. So if he suddenly lost interest after you’ve gone out, you know he’s found another prey. Don’t take it personally.

2. He’s focused on everything but love. It could be his family, the rent he has to pay, his upcoming promotion or trouble with his boss. While your few dates may have been amazing at some point, it might have been a temporary thing to distract him from the other things going on in his life.

3. You’re a friend. The author warns women that sometimes men can’t tell when we’re interested in them. Romance can complicate friendships, and since guys value friendships as much as women do, they are always wary of elevating things to a more serious level.

4. He thinks you’re too serious. If he’s not ready to take the relationship seriously (and by this we also mean making it exclusive) then it’s not going to work. If he thinks you’re “too serious” for him, then you’re better off without him: it wasn’t clicking at the right time.

5. His damned sidekick. Guys love to have partners in crime. And if his best buddy is still playing the field and partying hard, it will still be very hard for him to pull himself away from it all.

6. He’s into one of your friends. If a guy you like happens to like one of your friends, naturally he’s going to try to get to her by being with you. This can be very misleading for you, and while usually it works itself out pretty quickly, we hope this never happens to you. Never risk your friendships for any romantic prospects.

So if you find that a once so persistent guy suddenly stops seeing or talking to you, he is most likely doing so for one of the reasons above. Spare yourself the time and trouble of finding out what went wrong. He’s probably not worth it. The right guy for you will never leave you wondering about such things.

Have you ever had a similar experience or know of reasons men disappear on women? Share it with us

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