Sunday, August 12, 2018

Mga tao/bagay na ayaw ko


(TRIGGER WARNING: BAKA MASYADO KANG SENSITIVE PARA SA THREAD NA TO. WAG MO NA BASAHIN, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
Unang una sa lahat, ayoko doon sa mga walang kwenta kausap. Yung magsheshare ka tapos tatapalan ka ng "sino? sino nagtanong" and other shits related "ha? hatdog"
punyetics wala kang kwentang tao.
Pangalawa, yung mga taong hindi nag-aabot ng bayad sa jeep.
Kung ayaw mo mag-abot, wag ka umupo sa malapit sa driver. Wala akong pake kung doon na lang yung upuan edi sa ibang jeep ka sumakay gago.
Pangatlo, yung mahilig mangielam sa opinyon ng iba. May kanya kanya tayong opinyon sa mga bagay bagay, hindi porket opinyon mo na, yun na yung tama at dapat panigan. Gago ka ba?
Pero kagaguhan pa rin na isisi sa babae kung bakit sila nababastos, di nila kasalanan yon.
Pang-apat, yung mga post/tweet ng tweet ng "RT MO TO PARA MAGKAPERA, PUMOGI, MAGKAJOWA, MAGKAANAK, PUMASA, O KUNG ANO MAN YAN PUTANGINANG YAN"
HINDI NA AKO MAGEEXPLAIN BASTA PUNYETICS NIYO NA LANG
Panglima, yung mga nagsheshare ng mga video ng umuungol. Tangina 2018 na natatawa pa rin kayo don? ano isip bata lang?
Panganim, yung mga ads sa youtube na hindi pwede i-skip ad.
Pangpito, yung mga nagmemention para magpalike. Putangina kung gusto ko i-like yan, ilalike ko yan
Pangwalo, yung mga cashier at tindera na sa lamesa pa rin nilalagay yung sukli ko kahit nakalahad na yung kamay ko sa harap nila.
Pangsyam, yung mga magsyotang nag-aaway sa public place. Tangina niyo, walang poreber.
Pangsampu, kpop fans na o.a na. Hindi na nakakatuwa. Oo gets na namin fan ka na.

BOTTOMING FOR BEGINNERS




1. 'Wag kumain 3 hours before the main event, sis, kasi matatae ka. Gusto mong maging peanut butter diva? 'Wag ganun. Pareho kayong mapapahiya.
2. Buy a medium needleless syringe. Convenient itong pang-douche kasi puwede kahit saan. Use clean water, obviously, kasi ii-inject mo sa butas mo. Squeeze the water out of your ass. Repeat until the water runs clear.
3. USE PROTECTION. Better yet, get on PrEP. Kayong mga burikat, maging responsable kayo. Nakakaloka, andami-dami pa ring nagbe-bareback ngayon nang hindi sigurado sa partners nila.
4. Foreplay is very important. Have fun with each other for a good 10-15 minutes. Ang hirap kapag semi-erect ipinasok o kaya nanlambot sa loob. Para kang nagpasok ng hilaw na calamares sa butas mo charot.
5. Use a lot of lube, and when I say "a lot," I mean A LOT. Use only water-based or silicone-based types. 'Wag lotion, petroleum jelly, or kahit anong may oil kasi nakakasira ng integrity ng latex at baka mawarak. Kapag gumamit kayo ng sabon o laway, kukulamin ko kayo.
6. *SEMI-NSFW.*
You can minimize the pain by elevating the lower half of your body. Use a pillow and try an elevated missionary position. Puwede ring dumapa muna, then use the pillow to prop up your ass. Put your ass up in the air and wave it around like you just don't care.
7. Finally, tell your top to put it in slowly. Guide him to your tight little rosebud kung lights off. Go at it slowly at first. Werk it for a good 5 minutes until you get comfortable, tapos puwede nang magpalit ng position. When changing positions, subukan niyong 'wag mabunot.
EXTRA NOTES KASI NAKALIMUTAN KO:
1. Keep a bottle of water by the bed. Nakakapagod ang bottoming, so you have to hydrate yourself. Mas magandang you hydrate yourself during sex kaysa bago mag-sex kasi masakit magpakantot kapag puno ng ihi ang pantog.
2. Habang ipinapasok at once naipasok na, relax lang. Try not to be alarmed. Do slow but constant deep breaths. Isipin mo lang na tumatae ka at may na-stuck lang na napakatigas na tubol because that's really how it feels. You'll get the hang of it at puwede nang bilisan.
3. If you're not pressed for time, fingering helps. Train your hole at least 2 days before the party. Lube up and start with 1 finger. After a few minutes, try 2. Soon, you'll be able to take 3. You'll be the ass master in no time, I guarantee.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

House Manila



If you want to have fun and have a great time, House Manila is the place to go, definitely one of the top luxury club’s in Manila. Music is good, crowd is beautiful. It’s best to have a table here since the place is usually crowded especially on weekends.

The club is spacious enough to accommodate 400 seated guests and 1200 standing guests. The couches are also well apart from each other which gives your group a good feel for your own space especially when you are seated at the VIP area. The service is also good: it's usual for waiters to light up your cigarette when you are about to smoke (P.S. it's my friends who smoke, not me.), but what I liked about them is that they memorize your glass. I kept transferring seats in our table, and surprisingly, my glass follows! :)

 Situated at the Basement of Holiday Inn Express now not Remington Hotel. (Remington changed to Holiday Inn Express already.

For table reservations, guestlist and inquiries you can contact Rain Fajardo at 0916 670 9861

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Sarcastic



When your sarcasm is so far advanced, people think you’re being polite 😉

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